The Anonymous Callers Podcast

My last show for the Muharram broadcast. I intended for it to be a feedback show for the Souk, and I wanted to discuss Hoaxes in our community (something which I have written about before but I will touch on again soon)

However - I was inundated with calls from people who wanted to complain about something or the other, so I gave them a platform to air their views. Hope you guys enjoy it. And you can download the file from this link

Inappropriate Wedding Day Tweets

Some folks feel the need to tweet everything they do. So i'm thinking - what if a guy who is addicted to twitter, tweets continuously on his wedding day?

i'm guessing it will look something like this.

https://twitter.com/mahomedjunaid

For those not familiar with twitters template - the posts are in chronological order which means that you need to scroll down and and work your way up.

Also - Ive included a time before each tweet.

This ones dedicated to the birthday Girl, ms Samina Anwary and to the Queen of the tweets, ms Khadija Patel

Heres a transcript so you dont have to click the link if you dont care much for twitters template

(morning) Big Day is here :D So excited. Must not forget to shave balls

(08:30) Shoutout to @momo78666 @slumjedi and @taubah-later for kick-ass bachelor party last night. Those girls can bend

(08:32) err Bachelor movie night watching step up 2. yeah - thanks for that one

(9:00) Why are there so many kids in my house.

(10:00) Need a funky walk in. Something that says 'Look at Me'. Must think of one and tell sound guy.

(14:00) I dont see the point in packing an overnight bag.

(15:00) Getting my hair done. damn topi is going to mess up the gel.

(16:00) Oh Fudge. Does anyone know how to tie a tie? These damn youtube videos suck

(16:30) Dam i'm looking good. How do I upload a twitpic?

(17:30) Entering Mosque. Bye Bye Freedom. hello Ball and Chain

(17:47) How can this Moulana not bring a pen? Come on- its not your first nikkah signing. Bring Book and Pen. I didnt forget your envelope

(17:50) Totally nailed those three words. MJ FTW! Stand in line and hug me bitches

(18:00) Brides little sister shoved a glass of pink milkshake in my face. I'm saying pink and not strawberry bcoz this tastes nothin like it

(18:05) Right - Ready to walk down. OH SHIT! forgot to organise a walk in. Hope they play something cool for me to walk down to

(18:06) Flip! Kenny G.

(18:08) Who are all these old ladies that are hugging me. Smearing their bright red lipstick on my cheek. yeuckh!

(18:12) Enough of this now. I want to see my wife!

(18:13) The wife (I love saying this) is looking hot. I WIN!

(18:18) Feels weird sitting on the stage. Everyones looking at me. I feel like a monkey. Actually im just feeling for a banana

(18:26) Who gave this old nob the mike? Its hot on stage. I need to signal someone to turn the airconditioning up.

(18:37) Ballie stop talking!

(18:46) This Salaami is taking long. My legs are starting to go numb. Wife's Tab uncle is standing - much respect :D

(18:53) Finally! we get some food. yes - theres coke. ALLAHUAKBAR!

(18:58) wife not eating. Might need to get her some super C's or Red Bulls or something for later. lol.

(19:01) I think I have some green shit stuck in my teeth

(19:25) Picture Time. Damn that zaheera aunty has a large family. They must have polished a deg on their own.

(19:56) How much longer will this take? I need to fart

(20:45) Time for 'couple' shots. I feel a little silly in these poses. Hope I come out hot though - I need a new fb profile pic.

(21:03) wife is wishing family. Crying. Shes making me feel bad

(21:05) wife brother is holding her and crying. haha fag!

(21:17) Finally! Onwards towards hotel driver. Hmm - changing fb relationship status to 'married'. UPDATE!

(21:43) Lying on bed. In my boxers. Wife is going to take all those pins and shit out of her hair and wear something sexy for me.

(22:17) What is she doing in there?

(22:19) should have packed a magazine or something. Maybe i'l log onto mxit for a few minutes. Oh look - engineering book by the TV

(22:20) Insert Tab A into slot B. haha @taubah-later - you nob!

(22:23) Well hello gorgeous! Grooarr. Get on the bed woman! I want you all night long. I'm iron Man! I'l go for hours

(22:24) Is that it?

(22:25) this sucks

(22:26) Wife dsnt seem too thrilled with performance. Turned over and gone to sleep. Oh well - might as well watch champ league highlights

MJ

The Notorious 15 Rand Podcast

This is my first radio show - totally winged it - had no idea what I was goign to speak about until I walked into the studio and found a Souk Entertainment pamphlet - but thats how I roll :D

I havent edited the nasheeds out because I love love love Zamilooni - my favourite Nasheed and it makes me feel very romantic and fuzzy and happy and stuff :)

Dont forget to listen out for the crazy chick that goes on about R15. My show is an hour .. err, not that those two are related in anyway.

Hardly any callers - perhaps because it was my first show - but I promise the next podcast will have lots of people calling in as anonymous and bitching (subsequently it was a follow up show to this one :)

MJ

You can download the podcast from here or if you like - here it is

My First Podcast

One of my radio shows on Radio al Ansaar - I have a weekly slot on a local Community radio station - There is no theme per se - I just talk crap for an hour. Sometimes I get hardly any calls... and sometimes the phone does not stop ringing. Let me know if you guys want me to upload more shows.

This show was about facebook.

(and yeah - so now you guys know what I sound like)

MJ

p.s - you can download it from this site - ive compressed it so its really tiny.